This commentary was published in the Delaware Coast PressWhistling footballs, and other assaults on the beach experience
By Terry Plowman
In 1985, the Town of Dewey Beach took the bold and somewhat controversial step of banning alcohol from the beach. That was more than 10 years ago -- it's about time the town stopped resting on its laurels, and took the next bold step toward improving the quality of life on the beach.
When are the town commissioners going to step forward and ban that which causes far more annoyance than alcohol ever did: those high-pitched whistling footballs!
Has there ever been a more annoying beach toy? Yes, many a frisbee has conked a sleeping sunbather, and many an errant football pass has bonked a prone Pittsburgher, but the ubiquitous whistling football has the unpleasant ability to annoy not only those it hits, but everyone within earshot.
Everyone who has ever been lulled to sleep on the beach by the sounds of waves breaking, children laughing and seagulls calling should stand up, brush the sand off their suits and march down to the Dewey Beach town hall and raise a stink about this aural intruder. (While they're at it, and all riled up, they should march down to the Rehoboth Beach city hall too.)
If the citizens' representatives in local government are bold enough to take action on this important issue, perhaps they could outlaw a few other annoyances that are having a negative impact on our valuable tourism industry:
* Any other toy that makes a simulated sound, such as those rackets that go "pong" when they hit a ball. Has virtual reality now replaced actual reality, so that the sound of a real racket hitting a real ball isn't satisfying enough?
* Does the town have jurisdiction offshore? If so, it should outlaw those unnecessarily loud cigarrette boats, or whatever they're called. Perhaps some funding could be diverted from beach replenishment to pay for therapy for boaters who are so immature that they feel the need to race against no one in a useless boat with no muffler. Take up fishing, for God's sake.
The town shouldn't overlook the more mundane annoyances that may be injuring the lucrative tourist industry:
* Kids who throw sand.
* Kids who scream too much.
* Wet dogs that do the shake next to people other than their owners.
* People who allow their dogs to relieve themselves on the beach, then don't clean it up.
* People who impose their bad taste in music on everyone around them.
* People who, because of some apparent social problem, stake out their place on the beach way too close to others. The town should establish some minimum distance that is required between blankets of people who don't know each other.
Outlawing these activities would go a long way toward improving the image of Dewey Beach among vacationers, far more than worrying about those disorderly houses that have been getting so much attention.