This commentary was published in the Delaware Coast PressQuestions about kids that need further study
Commentary by Terry Plowman
For at least six years I have resisted the urge that afflicts every parent who is also a writer: the urge to write about my children.I have seen so many sappy columns written by parents who are suffering from the delusion that something (or everything) their child does is of interest to the general public. If any writers are reading this, take my advice: unless you're Erma Bombeck reincarnated, writing about your children's antics isn't that interesting to anyone outside your immediate family.
OK, so I won't give in that urge. But I have been thinking that -- as a public service, of course -- it might be interesting to pose various questions that have occurred to me since becoming a parent. These are questions that I think could be the subject of a grant request for a researcher looking for something to do. They are unanswered by any baby books, and even by the best source of child info available -- grandmothers.
I'm sure the list could go on forever, just like parents who like to talk about their kids. But here's a starter list:
I have to report this observation: without any pressure -- subtle or otherwise -- boys are generally more aggressive and girls are generally more nurturing. You should try to foster a boy's gentler side and and a girl's physicality -- which is part of their nature too -- but don't think you've done something horribly wrong when your son uses his sister's doll as a weapon, or when your daughter doesn't try to aggressively crush the competition in a game of "Go Fish." (One of my daughters always wants every player to win at least once -- something I can't comprehend. My wife reminds me that I don't have to try so hard to win when the other players are half my size -- but I guess that's just a guy thing.)
- Is it true that those little plastic caps for electrical outlets are really designed to keep adults from getting shocked? I cannot get them off without a tool from the workbench.
- Why is food more appetizing after it is thrown on the floor? Would toddlers be better nourished if we just let them eat off the floor in the first place?
- Has science ever measured the grip of a 1-year-old? How can the arm-reach of a child be greater than the actual length of his or her arm? I suggest researchers use house plants for this study.
- Science has yet to explain this fundamental diaper mystery: How can a dirty diaper weigh more than the child that was wearing it?
- Could there be a military use for the unexplained "kiddie radar" phenomenon? (How do they home in on the one thing you don't want them to touch -- a glass a water, for example -- among the dozens of other things in a room? How can they suddenly focus like a laser on that one thing, and navigate through the minefield of toys scattered all over the floor to get to it before you can?)
- Why do parents find themselves saying things they never thought they'd say -- things that made them scowl when their parents said them? For example, as a former member of an often-too-loud bar band whose hearing is probably less acute than others my age, I never thought I'd hear myself say, "Turn that music down!" (And that was Burl Ives on a Fisher-Price tape player.)
- Has anyone ever studied the politically correct belief that little boys and girls are "programmed" by society to have certain tendencies that result from "forcing" boys to play with trucks and girls with dolls?