What the professor REALLY means

You'll be using one of the leading textbooks in the field.-----I used it as a grad student.

If you follow these few simple rules, you'll do fine in the course.-----If you don't need any sleep, you'll do fine in the course.

The gist of what the author is saying is what's most important.-----I don't understand the details either.

Various authorities agree that...-----My hunch is that...

The answer to your question is beyond the scope of this class.-----I don't know.

You'll have to see me during my office hours for a thorough answer to your question.-----I don't know.

In answer to your question, you must recognize that there are several disparate points of view.-----I really don't know.

Today we are going to discuss a most important topic.-----Today we are going to discuss my dissertation.

Unfortunately, we haven't the time to consider all of the people who made contributions to this field.-----I disagree with what roughly half of the people in this field have said.

We can continue this discussion outside of class.-----1. I'm tired of this - let's quit. 2. You're winning the argument - let's quit.

Today we'll let a member of the class lead the discussion. It will be a good educational experience.-----I stayed out too late last night and didn't have time to prepare a lecture.

Any questions?-----I'm ready to let you go.

The implications of this study are clear.-----I don't know what it means either, but there'll be a question about it on the test.

The test will be 50-questions multiple choice.-----The test will be 60-questions multiple guess, plus three short-answer questions (1000 words or more) and no one will score above 55%

The test scores were generally good.-----Some of you managed a C+.

The test scores were a little below my expectations.-----Where was the party last night?

Some of you could have done better.-----Everyone flunked.

Before we begin the lecture for today, are there any questions about previous material?-----Has anyone opened the book yet?

According to my sources...-----According to the guy who taught this class last year...

It's been very rewarding to teach this class.-----I hope they find someone else to teach it next year.

By J. Timothy Petersik from the Chronicle of Higher Education