Big Knobi Klub, est. 1995
Ares Warranty Card

Steven A. Tinner (BlueWizard@NCweb.com)

Hypertext by Ricochet Rita


(>)This one's from a post to the ShadowRN mailing list last August 29th. Just goes to show that the original Evil GM really does have a sense of humor!
(>)Fenris (21:57:44/01-28-61)

Ares Macrotechnology
Warranty Card

Thank you for purchasing an Ares military product. In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration card below.

Answering the survey questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.

  1. Mr. Mrs. Ms. Miss Lt. Gen. Comrade Classified Other
    First Name: Initial: Last Name:
    SIN: Street Name:
    Latitude: Longitude: Altitude:

  2. Which product line was your purchase in?
    Ares Arms
    Ares Aircraft
    Ares Security Equipment
    Ares Aerospace
    Classified

  3. Date of purchase (Year/Mon/Dy):

  4. Serial Number:

  5. Please check where this product was purchased:
    Received as gift / Aid package
    Catalog showroom
    Independent arms broker
    Mail order
    Discount store
    Government surplus
    Classified

  6. Please check how you became aware of the Ares product you have just purchased:
    Heard loud noise, looked up
    Store display
    Espionage
    Recommended by friend / relative / ally
    Political lobbying by manufacturer
    Was attacked by one

  7. Please check the three (3) factors that most influenced your decision to purchase this Ares product:
    Style / appearance
    Speed / maneuverability
    Price / value
    Comfort / convenience
    Kickback / bribe
    Recommended by salesperson
    Ares reputation
    Advanced Weapons Systems
    Backroom politics
    Negative experience opposing one in combat

  8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:
    CAS
    Seattle
    Atzlan
    Aircraft carrier
    Seattle
    Amazonia
    Europe
    Seattle
    Middle East
    Unspecified Native American Nation
    Seattle
    Africa
    UCAS (Not Seattle)
    PacRim
    Seattle
    Misc. Third World countries
    Either Tir
    Classified
    Seattle

  9. Please check the products that you currently own or intend to purchase in the near future:
    Trideo
    Simsense Deck
    ICBM
    Killer Satellite
    Chip Burner
    Air-to-Air Missiles
    Space Shuttle
    Cyberdeck
    Nuclear Weapon

  10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? (Check all that apply:)
    Communist / Socialist
    Terrorist
    Crazed
    Neutral
    Democratic
    Dictatorship
    Corrupt
    Primitive / Tribal
    Neo Anarchist
    Controlled by Immortal Elves

  11. How did you pay for your Ares product?
    Deficit spending
    Cash
    Suitcases of cocaine
    Oil revenues
    Personal check
    Credit card
    Ransom money
    Traveler's check
    Favors
    Telesema
    Mineral Rights
    Tax breaks for Ares Corp.

  12. Your occupation:
    Homemaker
    Sales / marketing
    Shadowrunner
    Revolutionary
    Clerical
    Shadowrunner
    Mercenary
    Tyrant
    Middle management
    Shadowrunner
    Eccentric British billionaire (Minor Nobility)
    Shadowrunner
    Defense Minister / General
    Retired
    Student
    Shadowrunner

  13. To help us understand our customers' lifestyles, please indicate the interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy participating on a regular basis:
    Golf
    Boating / sailing
    Sabotage
    Hanging out in seedy bars waiting for work
    Running / jogging
    Propaganda / disinformation
    Destabilization / overthrow
    Default on loans
    Gardening
    Crafts
    Breaking and Entering
    Black market / smuggling
    Collectibles / collections
    Corporate Extracions
    Watching combat sports on trid
    Wines
    Interrogation / torture
    Household pets
    Crushing rebellions
    Espionage / reconnaissance
    Fashion clothing
    Border disputes
    Mutually Assured Destruction

         

Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers will be used in market studies that will help Ares serve you better in the future - as well as allowing you to receive e-mailings and special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups, and mysterious consortia. As a bonus for responding to this survey, you will be registered to win a brand new Yellowjacket Attack Helicopter in our Desert Thunder Sweepstakes!
Comments or suggestions about our weapons and equipment? Please email:
Ares Marketing Department
Military Aerospace Division
MilMarktg@AresAero.com
 

***End of File***

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