"You can't even celebrate Halloween anymore..." a young friend observed sadly the other day. "I mean, it's just going out and getting candy, for God's sake. What is the harm in that ?"

Well, nothing, we suppose, if that is all there is to it. But that is never really the case, and Halloween has so many dark and mysterious roots we are surprised it has lasted as long as it has.

We understand the complaints of parents whose children are not suprisingly frightened by ghouls and goblins, and people in costume in the dark. We find it unnerving, ourselves.

So, we will not spook you, or shout "BOO" when you least expect it, we don't like loud noises, either. Instead we will look at some other sides of All Hallows Eve both in contemporary America and in ancient Celtic times.

Kelley Rouse returns this week with a different kind of tale, and a different way of telling it. It's not an article, so much as an ancient memory from somewhere deep within her Celtic blood. It's the memory of: A Samhain Dream.

We warmly welcome new contributor Drew Feinberg who entertains us with a deftly-delivered account of Halloween Trials, and how to avoid the sounds of "their little fists knocking" in: Hiding Out On Halloween.

Gunga Dan: Assignment - DANGER is full of wind and windbags, regarding tales that are "told by an idiot, full of sound, and fury, signifying nothing."

Plans for Stone Soup 95 continue, and we bring you up to date with a big suprise ending in: Guess Who's Coming To Dinner

Kelley Rouse is a good photographer, and she proves it again by bringing us pictures of flowers that bloom in the moonlight. This kind of flower is known, aptly, as a: Moonflower.

And if you're tired, and a bit run down, and you can't seem to get your feet offa the ground, then maybe you ought to check into the theory put forth by the Elder Papa, that Life Begins At 80. It put a spring in our step, we tell you.

We promised ourselves not to be serious this week, about anything, and all of our writers complied to the degree they could. Albert P. Cohen has some very good advice for folks who would like to live another day or two. See: Cohen On Healthcare.

Like any only child does, friend Meshach turned his sorrowful eyes to us the other day and asked; "Why are there no other publications here ? Surely someone else is more clever than the likes of you." So, we implore our readers to: Steal This Magazine, Please !

Finally, we advise you of a brief interruption in service in: A Momentary Lapse.