UNCLASSIFIED by John Bozman


02:00:00 AM EDT 060796

Dear Diary:

Insane.

Yup. That's what I yam. It's 2:00 a.m. I should be sleeping, or making mad passionate love, or formulating creative words to enhance communications.

Instead, I'm trying to restore my 1994 Packard Bell computer to it's former acceptable status. My first introduction to the joys and heartaches of the computer world took place at "The Daily Times" in 1980.

Having been forced, more or less, to work on a dozen or more systems since -- from sophisticated mainframe mommas to humble portables -- I can truly boast: "I've never met a computer I can't crash."

Since Memorial Day of '94, the hard drive of our humble Landfill computer has been completely reformatted six or seven times. For the uninitiated, this is roughly akin to a baptism, of sorts.

Then there are those oh-so-smug Apple Addicts (18 percent of the market and falling). Hearing of my woes, "Times" co-worker Dion (not a relative) Bozman quipped, "Gee whiz, I've been using my Mac for three-and-a-half years and it's never crashed yet."

It's enough to make you cry.

So is seeing the message "Everything you do will be more fun" while reloading Windows 95 for the umpteenth time. It almost makes me think of starting a class-action suit against Microsoft for mental anguish.

Although the advent of the computer continues to fuel the technology race, it likewise spawns even more unanswered questions and yes, problems.

My wonderful wife, the former Donna Mae O'Grady of Parsonsburg, has been especially understanding about the latest "computer widow" episode. Old hat. "Been there. Survived it."

You can go to Lowe's and buy a replacement toilet seat to fit your vintage '48 hopper because a bunch of people got together a long time ago and decided the diameters of said receptacles should be standardized. They, at least, recognized the need for and the benefit from uniformity.

As a frequent, and veteran, computer-battle loser, I'd be willing to testify before Congress what the computer world needs most is uniformity, compatibility and standards of performance, not censorship.



June 7, 1996 John Bozman All Rights Reserved

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