First of all, televangelists have got to be the most hysterically funny people in the world.Not that they are hysterical but what they stand for has to be the funniest.Heck, I wish to GOD that I could actually get millions of people to listen to my PSYCHO BABBLE, pay me money, and support me with as much devotion as Libyan Suicide Bombers.

A few weeks ago I read an article in TIME Magazine, May 13, 1996, that talked about how the ostracized son of "TELEVANGELIST" Billy Graham, has suddenly chosen to be redeemed and to make up for lost time by taking over his fathers' ministry. OK, reality check here, WHO WOULDNT!. If your father had the most successfully rich global church in the world wouldnt you want change your way just a little bit?

Anyway , next thing on the agenda for this week "STRIP MALL CHURCHES". When I was a kid and my Dad would drive downtown around Washington Square through Baltimore, me and my little brothers and sister would always revel at the immense and beautiful churches that actually made the city a somewhat beautiful place. Even here in Smallsbury we have some churches that have a bit of history to them. Sure at one point in time they were new, with no history,but hey the only person that they paid rent to was GOD. Nowadays it seems as though next to every Dunkin Donuts and Jiffy Lube there is a "STRIP MALL CHURCH" popping up next to it with a newly ordained minister who just decided to quit his crack habit last week. Please dont get me wrong I understand that GOD's house is the World and that anyone can worship anywhere, to any god that they desire.

I guess that it just hurts me inside to think that, as GOD-fearing humans,we cant honor GOD in a more serious fashion than finding a so-called-minister with a fewbucks who can rent the old video store in the local "STRIP MALL", and turn it in to some profit along the way.

"SELLING GOD ON A BIKE", is it exercise for the strapping young chaps or is it really a thriving way to make some money? The equation works -
People in Church on Sunday=$$$$MONEY$$$$.
Jehovah's Witnesses, and countless other religions seem to think that when I am watching MTV, on any given afternoon, that I truly want to hear about their prophecies, and ideologies. WELL I DONT!!!

A month ago my sister started dating a nice young fellow who happens to be a Jehovah's Witness. Guess what, I suppose he didn't do enough "Pedaling for Jehovah"because his mother, upon learning that her son was dating a non Jehovah's Witness girl, decided to kick him out of the house.Mind you this girl and I are the daughter and son of not only a Lieutenant Colonel in the United States National Guard, but also of a former Little Sister Of Notre Dame. So not only are we blessed with the kindness of a Nun but we have the strict fortitude and assertiveness of an Army 5-Star General. Regardless, the point is, this "Cycling Ministry" really makes me laugh! Believe meMTV is not my religion nor is Jehovah's Witness but if I had to choose, MTV would surely win. Actually I think that my religion would bean amalgamation of Zen Buddhism and Catholicism. Again I am in no way discounting your religion or anyones for mine is not to questionmine is only to listen.

In closing I leave you with this thought to picture in your mind....

Three guys standing on the branch of their favorite tree on the banks of the Nile River, the year is about 150 B.C. Each of the gentlemen has an idea, one wants to start a religion that worships dirt, the other wants one that worships this tree, the third wants to start a religion that worships the rain. Each is right, each has a right, and each has a reason. The truths are there, the reasons are there, is there a real reason for your religion other than the fact that you go to Church every Sunday because you had to and now you feel obligated? I think that if everyone were just a little bit more real with their beliefs than they would have a seriously different outlook on religion. I looked at my beliefs, studied them, and decided that going to Church every Sunday to listen to some money hungry pastor talk PSYCHO BABBLE, was not my religion or my belief.

By the way, the next time you drop that envelope in the tray, think real hard about why.

Sorry if I've pissed you off. Have a good Day